Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Good Fight

Went in for obligatory pre-surgery blood work today -- they need to make sure I'm hcg-free before going in to fix my ute tomorrow, because there's nothing like an infertile girl on the Pill to stir up a pregnancy scare.

Actually, these days I prefer to think of myself as fertile until proven otherwise. I'm sticking to it.

Anyway, while I was in my RE's waiting room, in walked this cute, 30-something couple: she very perky and he cooler than a cucumber. They were either totally new to the process or putting on a very believable, synchronized brave face. They were chatting up a storm about things that seemed quite strategically apropos of nothing. What I wanted to do -- and it actually felt difficult to restrain myself -- was go over, give them a hug and tell them this: Keep fighting.

Keep fighting, because what's at the end? Is so worth it.

Keep fighting, because the warmth of a newborn's breath in the crook of your neck is all that you imagine it will be.

Keep fighting, because when this process isn't breaking you, it's stirring up exactly the amount of strength you need to continue.

Keep fighting, because when you are playing with your baby and he looks right in your eyes and laughs an unrestrained belly laugh that sounds like pure joy just sailed right into your living room, this moment -- whatever you're dealing with today -- will seem very, very far away.

That's why I'm crazy enough to think about doing it again. Starting tomorrow.


Lisa said...

i'm not sure if you remember me, but i'm still a follower of your new blog. i absolutely LOVE this post... good luck with your next journey. i hope that you achieve success in short order :)

Anonymous said...

GOOD LUCK today!

I hope the second stage of your journey is super short.

I always look at the size of the charts at my clinic, as mine is now one of the largest. I remember feeling pity for women with charts as big as mine back when I had a skinny chart. Now when I see those super slim charts that mean a couple has just arrived at the clinic, I find myself hoping their chart never gets as big as mine did.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the surgery today. I love this post too. You are right, it is all worth it. I so badly want for all of my IF sisters still battling out there to get to experience this.

anofferingoflove said...

aw, i love this post. you are right - it IS so worth it :)

Anonymous said...

BEAUTIFULLY said. I am keeping this post on my phone to read when I have my dark moments. Hope all went well with the surgery. Take care of yourself!

Roccie said...


It is a lovely post. You brought such a smile to my face.

Here is to crashing everyone's plans by having some unplanned HCG?

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