Tuesday, July 16, 2013

In the Moment

My sister-in-law is pregnant with twin boys, and as of last week when contractions intensified to under 10 minutes apart, on bedrest. This is an IVF pregnancy, and I need to state upfront for the record that I don't begrudge her a minute of much-deserved joy (and I personally could not be more excited to meet my nephews). But I can't help but feel envious of her.

I've sat right where she's sitting, and I know how nerve wracking bedrest can be when you don't yet know the outcome of a complex pregnancy. But oh, the sweet anticipation. To spend the day searching online for nursery gear, all the highs and lows of parenting a baby still in front of you -- I just want five more minutes in that fleeting space. I want to wait for, and then meet, my sweet H all over again.

It's so hard to fully appreciate where you are, without looking back, to grasp that today is the yesterday you'll look back on soon enough. I really do get that these days, with my three-year-old boy, are just as precious, just as fleeting. I want to marinade in them, to be better at taking mental pictures, to just appreciate. So often I find myself zoning out, thinking about the next thing, the work I have to do, the things I want to buy for my new house. These moments are rushing by, every stage giving way to a new one, and sometimes I'm just not present.

I may not have another baby. But right now I have a three-year-old boy and I want to make every moment of that count. Every single day I am grateful and amazed that he's even here, but I want to somehow apply that better to the day-to-day with him.

How do you make the moments count?

On another note, for some reason Google decided to do away with Reader, and I now find myself without a blog reader or my list of much-loved blogs. I did download my data from Reader before they turned that off, though Google doesn't really provide much guidance on how to use it, so I may have to start from scratch. If you a) know how to access the data and/or apply it to a new reader once you download it from Google, b) have found a new blog reader that you can recommend, or c) write a blog you think I read or would like to read, please, please leave me a comment so I can piece my blog life back together.


Caroline said...

I've never used Reader and just use the blogger dashboard (my blogger homepage)which has my reading list of blogs (some are from blogger, some are just websites, yet they all pop up in there). I have heard another good alternative for people who did you reader is Bloglovin though I have no insight or helpful guidance for it.

As for your SIL - I hope things go well for her. I totally understand the envy though. Even the people in my life who have been the most wonderful and sensitive to/with/for me, I still can be jealous and envious.

I think it's ok to be happy for others good fortune, but just to want that for yourself too. xo

Caroline said...

ALso, don't know if you read this blog, but I've been meaning to connect you two. I just feel you are walking similar paths. I believe her daughter, G, is about the same age. She's in the same boat of not knowing if they will have another baby - though I sure hope it's in the cards for you both.


Turia said...

I now use Feedly. Before Reader disappeared I was able to just import it with very little fuss. I'm not sure how it works if you've saved your data, but it thus far seems user friendly.

Hugs to you, and lots of luck to your SIL. It must be terrifying and exhilarating at the same time to be on bedrest with twins. Is she getting near the end?

I also work hard at savouring the moment. Some days are easier than others to do this, but I always try to find something to appreciate, although I am failing miserably at writing these things down at the moment and now wish I hadn't stopped writing letters to E. at 24 months, as they were a good excuse to see past the tantrums and really look at the little boy he is becoming.

Brianna said...

I was devastated when the announcement came out that reader was going to end. I've since switched to The Old Reader (theoldreader.com) and am very pleased. The import from reader was painless!

Some days are so much easier to enjoy the moments, but some are so, so difficult, like this morning when it felt like Gus turned his ears off completely.

Anonymous said...

This is gorgeous, and such an important thing to remember: "It's so hard to fully appreciate where you are, without looking back, to grasp that today is the yesterday you'll look back on soon enough." Thanks for this.
I'm going to suggest http://twoadultsonechild.com because she's great.

Elizabeth :: Bébé Suisse said...

Lovely post, unanswerable question. Well - the one about making each moment count, anyway. As for the Reader replacement, I use The Old Reader (theoldreader.com) on the computer. It's easy to import your Google data. On my i-device, I read the feeds from TOR on the Feeddler app.

TOR with Feeddler function very similarly to Google Reader and I'm happy. Tried Bloglovin and Feedly, unhappy with both for various reasons.

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