Monday, January 3, 2011

Deep & Possibly Incoherent Thoughts

I've really been beside myself about this c-diff thing. As in welcome-to-the-bell-jar depressed.

However. H is now 11 months old. One month left in his first year. And I'll be damned if I'm going to miss this last month because I'm too busy hang wringing and boo-hooing over some bacteria.

It's sad enough watching this first year come to an end. I mean I love watching H grow. I wouldn't trade this opportunity to watch his little self unfold, see his soul emerge. And I look forward to so much -- hearing his little voice talking, watching him walk and run. But it's sad too. I'm mourning the loss of the stages we're leaving behind. The real baby stuff.

Anyway, I'm committed to really trying to be in the moment these next few weeks -- to take snapshots of H at this truly wonderful stage rather than dwell on what we're leaving behind. And hopefully, hopefully, this infection is behind me too.

On another note, talked to my RE today. She'd asked me to check in when I got my period and is very encouraged by how normal it was, since that indicates healthy lining. She threw out the idea of trying to remove the remaining adhesions in the office versus the operating room. I love this idea. She'll give me a cervical block, some valium and some percocet. Sounds pretty fun to me. I mean, not fun as in you'd sign up for it over a day at the spa, but possibly the lesser of two evils.

2 comments:

Jamie said...

I've never had c diff myself, but working in a hospital I've been around it. It's tough and I'm so sorry you're having to experience it. It's okay to be sad!

Skeeter is 15 months now and he is turning into a little boy right in front of my eyes. It breaks my heart! Right now, he's got a little mullet of wispy blond hair because I'm holding on to the last thing that makes him look like a baby.

rescogitatae said...

Just getting caught up. You have been through the wringer of late! I'm glad your r/e has some ideas about minimizing the remaining surgery. And the c diff sounds just plain nasty. I hope you are feeling better soon.
xoxo
T.

 
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